i really enjoy reading the articles by Jack Rinella, they are insightful & generally have something relating to my life in them somewhere along the line. Do any of Y/you see any parallels to Y/your own lives?
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Diversions By Jack Rinella The folks in Houston are seeing less of my good friend Travis, of hook fame if you remember that column, because he has returned to playing the trumpet and has joined a jazz band. That doesn't mean that he's left the scene. It means, in his words, that "Now I am playing in a large jazz band and a small jazz combo. It has added an awesome `balance' back into my life." I recently finished my sixth book, "Philosophy In the Dungeon," which gave me some time to return to doing carpentry in the garage. Almost a year ago I began to build a bunk bed/cage for Patrick. Over the past winter Philosophy and teaching college took over my life (not a bad thing) and so the project languished. With no book on the horizon for now (though now will probably only be a few months) I am starting to build a bondage box. In the meantime my garden is flourishing like a jungle, so I am spending more time doing those kind of chores than I am in the dungeon. What gives? How the Hell does this relate to Leathersex? Simply put there is nothing so important as to live a balanced life. For a guy as cerebral as I can be, leaving the books and the keyboard can be a very healthy thing. For someone as horny and sexually active as I am, spending time in non-erotic activity is more than just a diversion. It restores my soul. Now I'm not going to say that a healthy sadism-induced orgasm isn't a good thing that restores one's soul, since it is. Instead I am going to remind you that living a healthy life means that one addresses life in a holistic way, considering all the aspects upon which life touches. I write that knowing full well that for most BDSM practitioners, play is just a once-in-a-while diversion, that work, family, and television take up a lot more time and energy than flogging and the like. I think it will be ever thus, except for those of us who live our lives on the kinky frontiers and the SM edges of existence. I can't say much about Travis' trumpet playing but I do know that the hours spent on the bunk bed were enriching. Building the bed took planning, purchasing, and a lot of work. Look at it this way. I had to choose the lumber, cut, glue, drill, bolt and screw it. I had to test it for strength and fit, sand the boards to a smooth finish, stain and varnish them, and polish them to a fine finish. It was a long, slow process. I was continually reminded that what the wood went through was the same as what I go through, that life is the process of building, fitting, sanding, and polishing. In fact woodworking seems to have a lot in common with sadomasochism. At least I think that if wood could think, it would think so. Can you see how our edge-play games cut and sand us? Can you see how being part of Leather community makes us fit, rounding off our rough edges and gluing us one to another? The balancing part of diversions consist in the fact that various activities use different aspects of who we are, consuming different kinds of energy and invigorating us in different ways. For that reason, as an example, we are urged to eat a balanced diet from a number of different food groups, told to exercise different muscles with different routines, and educational institutions demand general studies as well as those tailored to one's major. Good scenes have a certain balance as well. Like the building of a bunk bed, they demand some planning, a great deal of choosing, and a process that requires a wide variety of skills and processes. Believe me, a good flogging takes a lot more than just good flogging. There is an imperative, as well, that when we do play we do so as balanced players, not off kilter in some way. The complement to that, of course, is that dungeon play itself can also be a balancing event. I am reminded with a scene that I had with Travis. Being under his whips for a half hour or so really cleared my head, allowing me to vent off frustration and doubt. The pain of the floggers restored my connection with the purely physical and very primal. Of course, I'm probably struggling to say the same thing about woodwork and gardening, both of which are very physical and therefore grounding activities. Modern-day careers have divorced us from the earth. Even things as physical as sports often become a spectator form of recreation. You know, vicarious only works for so long. Our city living has removed us from the tempo of the seasons, the flow of life seen in crops and in animal husbandry. More often than not we are less and less creative in the workplace, an excel spreadsheet replacing the actual making of a product or the planting and harvesting of produce. Have we substituted standing and modeling for intimacy? I hope not and certainly can't judge another's public play. On the other hand the hide of a dead cow is no substitution for living flesh. Balance, of course, means that there is a place for dressing up and getting naked, though they are probably not the same places. Processes, either vocational, domestic, or recreational, have a natural rhythm and a wonderful variety to them. Just as there are many different steps to husbandry or carpentry, there are many steps to a fun scene. Here the variety and pacing of some vanilla activity can remind us nof the need for the same in the kink that we enjoy as well. The work of carpentry, as an example, reminds me that relationships take work, that just as sanding is a slow task, so is loving well. Rush the sander or use sandpaper that is old or the wrong grade and you have a mess. Take it slowly and evenly and the wood glows, the relationship prospers. Like any good project, some things need to be left to the experts. I am in the long process of adding a bathroom to the house. I'm not about to do the rough plumbing myself, just as I won't use a bull whip. Both are beyond my levels of expertise. I make it a habit of buying high grade wood and good power tools, just as I won't play with substandard toys or skimp on safety. Diversion, you see, can teach me a lot that is very applicable to what it is that we do. Think about it. Our kinky organizations needs accountants and cooks just as much as they need someone to teach needle play. I trust the diversion of this column was helpful. Have a great week.
This is the end of the article, any thoughts?
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